One Sentence, by Craig.

A single sentence is nowhere near enough space to contain the words used to describe the way I feel about you, let alone the last two months with you, but one word can describe how I feel about this whole sissuwahsheeown: yes, absolutely yes.

A sentence by Lacey

This past month has been like a dream and I'm just waiting to wake-up any moment now, but I'm not going to wake-up and that makes me extremely happy, no ecstatic, no I'm head over heels in bliss; speaking of head over heels, that's what I am for you, I've never felt this way before and now that I have, I'm really glad these feelings are for you because you're my guy, and you always will be.

This is supposed to be one sentence without crazy run-ons, but obviously I broke the run-on rule... oh well ^_^

Trampoline

Lacey and Craig had just finished breakfast and were walking out of the bed and breakfast, ready for their next adventure. But when they stepped out the door they stopped in their tracks. Something was different about the rustic, yet quaint, country town.

“There’s something different about this rustic, yet quaint, country town,” Lacey said. Craig nodded in agreement. The strange thing was that Lacey couldn’t put her finger on what was different, in fact it looked exactly the same as when they left it. Yet there was something strange.

They stared at the town, pondering it for a while. “I’ve got it!” said Craig suddenly. “The entire town is moved two inched to the left.” Lacey was about to call him crazy and say that was definitely not it, but when she looked at the town, she realized he was right. Everything was shifted. “How did this happen?” Lacey asked. “Let’s find out,” he responded.

It didn’t take them long to figure out what was behind it. Behind the largest building in the town was hiding a giant crocodile. The crocodile was jumping up and down in this crazy jig which was causing the Earth to rattle and move the town to the left.

“What in the name of Steve Irwin is that crocodile doing?!” Craig asked baffled. “I have no idea,” Lacey responded.

“I could tell you,” said a voice behind them. “She’s doing the crocodile rock.” They turned around and were shocked to see Elton John himself. “That’s Suzy, me and her use to have so much fun, holding hands and skipping stones.” He explained, indicating the crocodile.

“Well can’t you get her to stop? She’s moving the town around.” Lacey pointed out. “No, I can’t. I don’t speak to Suzy anymore after she left me for some foreign guy.”

“Fine then, we’re going to leave, I don’t want to be here when Suzy destroys the town.” Craig announced, grabbing Lacey’s hand and pulling her away. “Where are we going to go?” Lacey whispered. “I don’t know, but we’re not staying here with that giant dancing crocodile.”

Lacey was watching a bunch of men paving the road up ahead and suddenly got an idea. She ran up ahead, over to them. “Where are you going?” Craig called, running after her.

“HEY! Men at work!” Lacey shouted. All the men paving the road turned to look at her. “Can you take us to the land down under?” They all looked at each other confused. “Good idea bumby,” Craig said under his breath.

The man in the middle walked up to Lacey, he had a nametag that said “Noodles.” He seemed to be the leader. “Are you sure you want to go to the land down under?” the two other men at work walked up too. Their names were “Porkchop” and “Salmon.”

“Yes, we’re sure,” Lacey said confidently.

“Well if you want to go, then you’ll have to eat this vegemite sandwich,” said Salmon. He held out two halves of a sandwich with vegemite in it. Lacey winced, like she wasn’t sure if it was worth it. “It’s worth it,” Craig said, reading her mind.

Lacey reached out for one of the sandwich halves, as Craig reached for the other. “This will take you straight to the land down under,” Noodles reassured. “Okay, let’s take a bite at the same time,” Craig said. Lacey nodded.

“One,”

“a 2hooooo!”

“CRUNCH!”

They both closed their eyes and took a bite.

When Craig opened his eyes, he was in the middle of a town, but it wasn’t the rustic, yet quaint, country town. It was a busy, yet friendly, bustling town. “We made it! We’re in Australia!” Lacey whooped. “This is awesome!” Craig shouted. They were jumping up and down in excitement for a while as passerby either gave them weird looks or walked in the opposite direction.

“Let’s explore!” Lacey said excitedly. They began walking down the street, site-seeing energetically. They noticed that there was the same flyer posted all over the city. It had an ambiguous person on it, but they weren’t close enough to read them. Both thinking the same thing at the same time, they walked up to the closest flyer. When they finally reached the flyer, they were surprised to see that they knew the person there.

“It’s Reggie!” Craig said flabbergasted. Below the picture of Reggie it said ‘Missing Person.’ “Reggie’s missing? How do people in Australia know he’s missing?”

“It says here that he fell in the snow and almost died. He disappeared shortly after that.” Lacey said, in an almost robotic voice.

“Let’s ask those people if they know anything about this,” Craig suggested.

“No way, they’re obviously Nazis!” Lacey warned.

“No Silly, they’re just swinging one arm fast and the other one slow, so it just looks like they’re Nazis.” Craig walked up to them with Lacey trailing behind. One of them looked just like Elton John, but he didn’t have any glasses and his hair was flipped up, so it obviously wasn’t him. The other three guys looked just like Noodles, Salmon and Porkchop, except they had glasses on and their hair was combed down, so it obviously wasn’t them. Behind them was a giant crocodile that looked like Suzy, but it was wearing glasses and a hat, so it was obviously a completely different crocodile.

“Do you Know anything about Reggie’s disappearance?” Craig asked.

“NO!” they all said really quickly, well the Crocodile kinda roared, but it sounded like a no.

“Uh, okay then,” Craig replied a little weirded out.

“DID YOU SAY SOMETHING ABOUT REGGIE’S DISAPPEARANCE?!?!?!” said a ridiculous voice behind them. They turned to look and see who it was, it was a very ridiculous man. He was covered in bullet wounds, yet he seemed to be completely unharmed whatsoever. He also had a dead Albanian person thrown over his shoulder. “I’ve been looking for him everywhere! I think Albanians stole it for human trafficking!”

“What? No! Not Reggie! Not human trafficking!” Craig said in despair.

“I KNOW! I’M GOING TO KILL A BUNCH OF PEOPLE TILL I FIND HIM!”

“Do you know where he—er she—er it might be?” Craig interrogated.

“I THINK THEY’RE KEEPING HIM IN THE WAREHOUSE AT THE END OF THE ROAD!” The ridiculous man said ridiculously.

Craig turned to Lacey, “Let’s go!”

“We’re coming too!” shouted the Elton John look alike, referring to his arm swinging buddies.

“ME TOO!” The ridiculous man screeched.

They marched down the road, to the warehouse.

“There it is!” shouted the Porkchop lookalike. They saw a large red warehouse, sitting there, practically waiting for them.

Craig walked in first, but the minute he put his feet on the ground, he was catapulted into the air and hit his head on the ceiling, which cause him to black out.

When Craig awoke, he felt disoriented. He began to move, but stopped when he heard a voice. “I wouldn’t do that if I were you, you’re sitting on a trampoline and if you move you’ll be thrown into the ceiling again.” Craig turned his head to see the Elton John, Noodles, Salmon, and Porkchop lookalikes walking over to him. Craig noticed he was on a trampoline and oddly there was a sink in the middle of it.

“Why aren’t you guys being jutted into the air, you guys are moving.”

“We have trampoline shoes on,” Said yet another voice. Craig turned to see Lacey across from him.

“Where did you get those, and can I have some?” Craig questioned.

“I’m afraid not, you see I have to come clean with you.” Lacey said in a serious tone. She walked over to the sink in the middle of the trampoline. “I believe this will clear things up a bit.” She picked up a toothbrush and toothpaste on the sink and prepared to brush her teeth. She brushed for a few minutes and then finally spit. Craig didn’t think this cleared anything up, but he waited patiently.

“Bring him here!” Lacey said in a commanding voice. The Noodles, Porkchop and Salmon lookalikes all picked him up and brought him over to the sink.

“GASP!” There was toothpaste left in the sink, this could only mean one thing. “You’re not Lacey! Lacey would never leave toothpaste in the sink! You’re setting her up!”

Imposter-Lacey nodded, almost a little sadly. The men at work lookalikes dropped him. They all removed their glasses and flipped their hair in the opposite direction. Then the Elton John lookalike put on a pair of small sunglasses and flipped his hair as well.

“GASP! You’re Elton John, Noodles, Salmon and Porkchop in disguise!”

“Yes, and here is my lovely girlfriend, even though I’m gay, Suzy,” Elton John added replying to the giant crocodile, who was standing next to the ridiculous man.

“I should have known! Well who are you really then?” Craig asked the ridiculous man.

“My identity is actually the truthful one, I really am a ridiculous man.” Craig wasn’t surprised, it was hard to fake ridiculousness like that.

“Well that only leaves you,” Craig said turning to imposter-Lacey. “Who are you really?”

Imposter Lacey took off her brown wig and dress, or maybe it was that she put a dress on….Craig couldn’t be sure.

“REGGIE! It was you all along! Why did you do this and what did you do with Lacey?!”

“Don’t worry, Lacey is perfectly safe in the next town, back at the bed and breakfast.”

“The next town? But we’re in Australia!” Craig pointed out.

“You see Craig, I’m going to make you pay. Everything that happened today was set up to fool you. I asked Elton John to bring Suzy to the rustic, yet quaint, country town so that she would cause a ruckus with the crocodile rock. That would make you want to leave. I had the men at work strategically placed so they would be at the perfect spot for me to see them. I asked them to go to the Land down under, but what you didn’t know is that your vegemite sandwich was drugged, so you actually passed out. While you were unconscious, we brought you to the next town, in order to make you think we were in Australia. We also posted flyers of me missing everywhere. I knew that you would want to find me, so I had that ridiculous man over there tell you to come here. And now here we are.”

Craig’s jaw dropped, it was all so intricately planned. “But why?”

“Well isn’t it obvious?” Reggie asked, acting as if Craig was the biggest idiot he ever met. “No, as a matter of fact, it isn’t.” Craig said in disbelief.

Reggie took something out of his pocket. “Look at this, Look at this!” He shoved the paper into Craig’s face. He had to move his head back to be able to read it properly. “This is a check for $3.”

“I bloody well know it’s a check for three dollars! This is my paycheck. Three measly dollars! How am I supposed to survive on this?” Reggie explained frustrated.

“Um… well that’s sad and all, but what does this have to do with me?” Craig asked confused.

“You didn’t pay for your cake! You didn’t even leave me a tip! You ate my cake, I waited on you and then you left without so much as a nickel! I’ve had people leave $300 dollars in return for my services. Now you’re going to pay! You won’t be able to get off this trampoline without knocking yourself out, I can keep you here all night. You might as well pay up now before I let the ridiculous man resort to brutal force.”

Craig looked around at everyone, he felt like he was in a nuthouse and all he wanted to do was get out of there and back to the real Lacey. “Okay, fine I’ll pay whatever you want, all you really had to do was ask, you didn’t have to go through all of this.”

“Don’t talk crazy Craig, of course I had to do all of this.” Reggie said simply. “Now pay!”

Craig went to reach for his wallet when he heard a loud popping noise. “Craig! Where have you been? I finally learned to appara—what’s going on here?” Lacey, the real Lacey, had just apparated into the room. (Veronica told me to add that she can apparate too)

“Ah, Lacey, I was not expecting this, well it doesn’t matter, your boyfriend here is going to pay and there’s nothing you can do about it.” Reggie said smugly.

“What did you kidnap him? Is that where he’s been all this time?!” Lacey said outraged.

“Indeed, I did, and he’s going to stay here till he pays!”

Lacey looked more angry than Craig had ever seen her. “How dare you!? I was worried sick!” Then Lacey performed some awesome trampoline kung fu moves that Craig had never seen before. She knocked everyone out in the room except Craig. Then she bent down and apparated both of them back to the bed and breakfast.

She turned to him, “So what was that all about?” She asked.

“You don’t want to know,” Craig said simply and bent down to give her a great big kiss.

Bird isn’t the word, the word is: seaweed